Friday, September 25, 2009

Exiled Knucks

Memphis mayor Myron Lowery makes good on his sole campaign pledge, virtually ensuring his re-election.

Monday, June 15, 2009

NASA Knucks

What might otherwise have been dismissed as run-of-the-mill awkward physical contact turned into a full fledged Fo' Knucks at 150 miles above terra firma. Seen here are two soon-to-be-reprimanded NASA astronauts engaged in a little weightless frivolity that is sooooo not becoming men of their space station.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The First Documentary of the Phenomenon

Almost a year after it's first appearance on the nightly talk shows, Fo' Knucks is now the subject of a controversial documentary by Late Night host Jimmy Fallon. Putting aside the legitimate concerns that have been raised about the film's revisionist history and holocaust denials, the documentary is noteworthy for providing the first, truly academic treatment of Fo' Knucks.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Anniversary of a Misnomer

To mark the first anniversary of the day Michelle and Barack unveiled Fo' Knucks to the world, tomorrow activists are gathering for what they are calling "National Fist Bump [sic] Day." While the eponymous gesture is actually pronounced "Fo' Knucks" -- an embarassing oversight by the organizers-- purists can still celebrate by condescendingly correcting those that call it a mere "fist bump."

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Commencement Knucks

In lieu of his diploma, this midshipman receives Fo' Knucks from the President of the United States. Mr. Obama used his commencement speech at the US Naval Academy to roll-out his "Fo' Years, Fo' Knucks" plan to save higher education. Afterward, aides close to Mr. Obama said that the president had to be physically restrained from giving Fo' Knucks to every member of the graduating class and their families.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Local Cherub Demands Fo' Mo'

Unbelievable. Yeah, you remember this kid? He's droppin' Fo' Knucks with the Leader of the Free World like it's his Nana's tea party. Despite global shortages of Knucks, this profligate ruffian helps himself to seconds while we just stand by and watch.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Fo' Knucks App for iPhone

BumpTechnologies is out with their first and, as yet, worst app to date: a little doozy that lets you share contact info with someone else just by giving Fo' Knucks with your iPhone.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Obama Reaches Understanding with Military

As a part of his first grand tour as Commander in Chief, President Obama took time to meet with US troops in Iraq. Here, amidst a wall of camouflage, a lone fist protrudes to entreat the president to Fo' Knucks.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Joe Torre Gives Mo Fo'

In this undated photo, Joe Torre informs all-star reliever Mariano "Mo" Rivera of his decision to leave the Yankees. Professional as always, Mo simply nods and offers Fo' Knucks to his departing mentor.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Lincoln Gives Obama Fo' Mo'

In an encounter almost identical to one we reported previously, former President Lincoln welcomed now President Obama to his old turf. The Illinois natives reportedly shared a few pleasantries before the mood grew tense after Lincoln jokingly inquired as to how "those rapscallion Cubbies" were doing.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Stan Lee Gives a Vicarious Fo' Knucks

A well-defined President-Elect gives an apparently arthritic Spidey Fo' Knucks after an as-yet undisclosed adventure mission.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Sour Grapes

Never before relegated to the political sideshow, Fo' Knucks is here depicted by the conservative American Spectator in a purely fantastical exchange between the Senate and House Democratic leaders. Thus has the new phrase "Faux Knucks" fallen into the bastardized parlance of our time.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Santa Gives Bush Fo' On His Way Out the Do'

While onlookers averted their eyes and smiled, Santa Claus slipped President Bush Fo' Knucks during a private ceremony at the White House. The President and Santa then compared their non-functional belts.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Lincoln Gets Off His Marble Ass to Weigh In

Sporting a bow tie and tux for the occassion, a well-coiffed President Lincoln congratulated President-Elect Barack Obama on his election victory with the traditional offering of Fo' Knucks. While photographs of the exchange were strictly prohibited by the Secret Service-- and this artist's depiction grossly misidentifies the exchange of Fo' Knucks as consisting of a mere 'bump' [sic]-- eye witnesses report that Mr. Lincoln seemed disoriented and absolutely enormous.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Fo' Knucks Mr. President

America, i.e., Malia Obama, gives President-Elect Barack Obama Fo' Knucks on the occasion of his historic election victory.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Obama Momentarily Suspends Campaign to Rediscover Roots

Senator Obama's mid-life crisis confronted him with knucks outstretched the other day. Pausing briefly to ponder his improbable mortality, Mr. Obama put down his Blackberry and neatly pressed Wall Street Journal to offer a youthful embrace to a golden-locked Juventas. Asked afterward about the meeting, Mr. Obama downplayed the existential significance of the encounter.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Stewart and Colbert Bring an October Update to the Timeless July Cover

The Comedy Central duo of Stewart and Colbert have finally brought some lighthearted fun to the so-far austere depiction of Fo' Knucks in popular culture.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Will Ferrell and John C Reilly Lend Some Credibility to Fo' Knucks

The actors stump for the Fo' Knucks brand, among others.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

McCain Late to Party

Here is an artist's rendering of Senator McCain attempting to get in on a little Fo' Knucks to gin up the youth vote.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

One Theory on the Origin of Fo' Knucks

Best known for their role backing up the Super Friends, the Wonder Twins are here seen in what may be an early attempt at giving Fo' Knucks.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Confusion Begins

In what may only be described as the most insidious misinformation campaign ever waged in the postdiluvian world, Rob Rogers of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has used a clever parenthetical to re-brand the, by now well known, act of giving Fo' Knucks. Referring to Fo' Knucks with the diminutive "fist bump," Mr. Rogers has not only emasculated Fo' Knucks, he has lied to an entire generation yearning to define their shibboleth of cool.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Historic Knucks

Here a ridiculously top-hatted Lincoln chills with Martin Luther King, Jr.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Michelle Obama Broadens Middle Class Appeal of Fo' Knucks

Mrs. Obama took the case for Fo' Knucks straight to American women yesterday. During the morning she was seen holding high-level talks with ambassadors representing the various factions of the American Everywoman.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Bush and Obama Now Engaged in Daily Battle for Control

President Bush is seen allying himself with the US Marine Corps while Senator Obama conspires with Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. Both sides have occupied considerably more aggressive positions in what has become an international Knucks Race.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Knucks on the Beach

New York Magazine is out with an exposé on the recreational use of Fo' Knucks by a growing percentage of Americans. Particularly revealing are the seasonal trends that have been confirmed by several prominent studies.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Bush Signs Up

Any slouch can read the writing on the wall: this thing is going to be huge. And President Bush knows all too well that to successfully contain someone or something you've got to get out ahead of it. Here he is seen on Wednesday announcing a pre-emptive strike on those that seek to use Fo' Knucks as a weapon.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Late Night Knucks

On Sunday, Obama went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to discuss the now publicly acknowledged existence of Fo' Knucks. He is seen here transcending space and the limits of two-dimensionality to give Jimmy Kimmel the gift of Fo' Knucks.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Knucks that Launched Fo' Thousand Mo'

On June 3rd, 2008, Michelle and Barack Obama unveil to the world a secret guarded closely by an elite few: Fo' Knucks!
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